Cook for your mom!!!

When she was born the first words that were uttered were 'Kynthei  Kynthei' which in the local Khasi language of Shillong meant 'girl girl'. Her mother's heart had finally found solace. She was born after three sons, the last of whom had died as an infant. The little boy's death had left her mother besieged with grief. Especially since she had not felt much happiness at his birth, as she was really expecting a daughter after two sons. I was born.


My mom's panacea, I clung to her day and night, literally. When I was a toddler and visiting my grandparents in another city,  Ma would sometimes want to go out  with her sister or sister-in-law, without carrying with her  the bundle called 'me'. At such times, one of my maternal uncles would don one of her sarees, cover his head and walk around the household, and I would follow around thinking it is Ma. The pictures of my uncle in a saree still grace an old family album.

I am almost ashamed to admit that I slept between my parents until I had grown-up enough. After that, I stayed with Ma and my dad moved to another bedroom. The years spent at home were the best eighteen years of my life. Thank you Ma for making them so special and for pampering and spoiling me as much as you could - for letting me have a good time, before the reality called life threw a challenge at every step. Whenever I would ask Ma why she never yelled at me, she would say that I never gave her a reason to do so. She called me ' A violet by a mossy stone , Half hidden from the eye! Fair as a star, when only one , Is shining in the sky!' after Wordsworth's poem.

After a quick three years at college, a sudden marriage and another two years at grad school, I got my first job. Equations had changed. I felt that I was more in charge of making Ma and Dad comfortable then vice-versa, and I thought I did my part. However, my cook Kanan-di, gave me a lesson in caring for my mother that I will always be thankful for. She wanted me to cook for Ma. She said that she regretted she hadn't done enough for her own mother. Prior to that Ma would still be the one cooking whenever she visited our house in Calcutta, during the month long winter vacations. I took her words and thought this would be a good day to share this simple learning, but one that has given me a lot of pleasure over the years. Mom's keep telling and insisting that they will do the cooking but when their children cook for them, the happiness you see on their face is more than worth the effort.

On a lighter note, it appears like Max took this lesson rather seriously for his doggy ways. I have been telling him that I would be very disappointed if I did not get a Mother's Day gift. So when we were at the Cheasapeake Bay yesterday, he diligently gathered some firewood and almost caught a goose, until I reminded him that I am a non-meat-eatarian, if that's a word. But my boy did his part :-)