This is long due to be expressed. It's been written in my head long back, just being no longer unwritten now. Also, it's a general observation and not related to any specific individual(s). In my teenage years, as consciousness of social practices aroused, I turned into an angry young woman, kind of a feminist. It seemed like females were being tortured in every stage of life, even before they were born, even by their very own. Abortion, infanticide, dowry deaths hit them like plague. Such ills still exist and need to end and my post by no means trivializes any of that.
But what about the MEN? They die micro deaths every day. They don't even say anything.I just read about a man ending his life due to continued harassment by his wife and her family, including demanding hefty sums to allow him to see his son, that prompted this post. This is an extreme case, but I have observed female behavior for the last two decades. In a lot of cases, they seem to check out on their husband's family, the moment they get married. And trust me this has nothing to do with how they are as people, to the rest of the world and I know both sides may have some blame. But I have seen the nicest of girls, behave in the meanest of ways, when it comes to their in-laws. These girls go the farthest lengths to make sure their own mother and father are happy and comfortable and their siblings have the best of both worlds. But when it comes to their mother or father-in-law they would get mad for the most trivial of things like - ' Why does he/she keep asking me? Can't he/she take the spoon themselves? ' . To put in perspective- An aging person had just asked for a spoon.
In another instance, a coworker was complaining to someone over phone unaware that I have native fluency in Bengali, " Uni bhabche, chele eikhaan thike taaka pathabe" referring to her in-laws expecting some funds from their son. What could be so wrong about that? Wouldn't the girl help her parents if they needed money for some reason? Again not referring to extreme cases, but most females don't seem to have any concession when it comes to in-laws.
A mother-in-law once told me, " Namghorot jau je, suwali thaka maak bilaak dekhilei gom pai, mukh bilaak ujjal' referring to her own plight of having only sons and daughters-in-law and wearing a fatigue instead of a glow. On many instances, when we go to the airport to pick someone from a flight from India, it is evident from the facial expression on whether the husband or the wife's parents are coming. The men are generally happy in both cases, but the women are only happy when it's their own parents. I make assumptions and my guess often turns right when the passengers arrive. Atleast to the extent I can recognize, by the intensity of the hugs 😀
I think our men are generally very nice to their in-laws and deserve fairer treatment. They deserve happiness as well and the ability to be together with the family of their birth and the family they created happily, sometimes.
We need to look at our reflections and channelize our inner dog. Don't miss the dog in the mirror. We need to think like them sometimes and greet everyone happily. ☺️
#womaninthemirror
