A Generous Heart!!

The joy of gifting originates in the generosity of the heart and not in the magnitude of wealth. A roadside vendor we met during a recent trip to Nassau, Bahamas reinforced that thought manifold. 

We were a large group moving from one sight to another in a bus, trying to hit a few places before the scheduled return time of the cruise we were traveling in. Our last stop was the famous Fish Fry area, with a lot of restaurants serving fresh fish like sea bass. By that time we knew we wouldn't have time to stop at a market and shop for souvenirs.  So my friends and I were checking what we could find at a small nearby vendor. I believe none of us bought anything since we couldn't decide. A few minutes later one of my friends came with two stone turtles with Bahamas written on them, she said he gave her one and also sent one for my daughter who was looking at them. I was dumbfounded. I have only heard of tourists being charged extravagant amounts by local vendors in touristy places. This was the first time someone was giving away free souvenirs.  

I was so touched, I went back to the guy with my friend, to give him a token sum. He took it, but wouldn't let me leave without handing me one more thing my daughter was apparently looking at, a pink flamingo key chain. My friend gave him few dollars as well and we bid adieu.

As our bus crossed his store, I managed to get a quick shot of this man. He seemed like he was barely making ends meet, but his generosity was exemplary. If you happen to be in the Fish Fry area in Nassau, do look for him and buy some souvenirs from him.He was located diagonally opposite to Oh Andros restaurant.

I wanted to share this story in the spirit of the season of giving and receiving.Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone!!

Oh Mum!!

The chrysanthemum flower has always held a special place in my heart because in Eastern Indian languages like Assamese and Bengali, it is called ChandraMallika, which is an amalgamation of my dad's name and mine. I remember his face breaking into a gentle smile whenever he saw one because of that connotation.

Only very recently, I learned that it is also the official flower for November, my birth month, when a friend gifted me a custom jewelry box with my name and a mums blooms on it.  On checking further, I learned that this flower has ancient history originating in China and regarded as one of the Four Gentlemen of China” — a group of prestigious  plants that each signify a new season with mums signifying autumn. In Japan, they are held in such high regard that the Emperor’s throne is referred to as the Chrysanthemum Throne. In Australia,  they signify "Mother's Day" since they bloom there in May. All over the world they signify qualities like purity, perseverance, honesty and the like. 

This autumn, my mum and I (pun intended) witnessed the most beautiful exhibition of mums in Longwood Gardens.

This is a single plant with 1200 blooms

            Jewelry box gifted by a special friend!

Hickory Run Boulder Field, Pennsylvania

Once upon a time, long, long ago, while wondering in the Pocono Mountains, from hill to valley, four friends came across a field of boulders. They were awestruck by the sheer size of the field. They had never seen or even heard of anything like that before. On getting closer, they learned from a sign that the field was created around 20,000 years ago by glacial activity. The friends were Rishi, Ria, Rimi & Tridib, loitering in carefree abandon. Since then a special few have been taken to visit this field. This time it was Ma's turn!!

The Boulder field is a true relic of the past. This area is a National Natural Landmark, and State Park Natural Area. It has remained relatively unchanged for more than 20,000 years. The Boulder Field appears striking because of its flatness and absence vegetation over the large area of 400 feet by 1,800 feet. Some of the boulders measure as much as 26 feet long. It is 10-12 feet deep on average and apparently water still runs under the field forming the Hickory Run stream.

Desiderata

When we lived in Shillong, India a long time back, we received several magazines in our home. Among them, The Readers' Digest and Teenager were subscriptions and the Sun magazine and India Today were regularly purchased from the newsstands by my father and brothers. 

In one such issue of probably the Sun, came a poem the Desiderata. It was translated in 1927 by Max Ehrmann with an unknown author. The yellow page with black cursive font was pulled out by my elder brother and hung on wall. I was about ten years old at that time and very impressionable, especially by my whatever my brothers did. I took it in and it remains a lesson for life.  I wanted to share  today on World Mental Health Day as below. Meanwhile, this year has been a year for hiking activity for me, absorbing the energy of the forest in silence. Thanks to Bank of America for the Columbus Day holiday, we could go on a hike yesterday as well. (pic below 😊)

          Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.
 

--- Translated by Max Ehrmann, 1927

--- Author unknown

Oh My(rtle)!!

My little crepe myrtle saplings from two years back are at my shoulders now. I have eight of them. Three of them are blooming, one has sprouted a few buds and the other three are waiting to hit adulthood to bloom, even though they have grown bigger in size. It seems some trees take about three years to flower, when grown from seed. Maybe next year will be the year for them to blossom!

In our old house, the crepe myrtle we had, would throw a pink velour fury at this time of the year and we would wholeheartly appreciate its beauty. It was the backdrop of many of our beautiful pictures. 

I've managed to spread the seeds of love for that resplendent tree, quite literally. Here's testimony to the fact that when you nurture anything,  it thrives and  blossoms! The pictures are from 2023, 2022 and 2021 in that order. #labordayweekend update!

Friends!!

If it wasn't for friends where would we would we be? Friends make the world go round, supporting us in different ways from toddler years to old age. I have been more than blessed to have the loving companionship of several friends who are dear to my heart. 

This picture has a friend from college days, few from early days in US and also newer friends. It is a representation of the joy that all my friends have brought about, through the years. Happy Friendship Day to all of you!!

Zen and The Art of Complimenting!

Where and when did you receive your most touching and your most badass compliment? I'll go first and please follow suit in the comment box.

When I was a little child, one of my mom's colleagues in Shillong, Bina Jethai used to say, ' Ei morom loga soku keta ba kaar ghorot jabo?' which translates to 'I wonder in whose house these lovely eyes will go' but in literal terms meant, 'I wonder who would you get married to'. Her voice still rings in my ears, her sublime face still distinct. Such is the power of complimenting and the way it touches lives.

More recently I was dressed for an outdoor party at a friend's place and  asked my mom if i looked okay. She told me 'You look like a Babydoll' her voice exuding humor. It was her

way of saying, Why do you ask? Yes ofcourse, You always dress up nicely, Do you really need my opinion? - all at the same time. 

In an era of social media induced auto-generated inundation of compliments, their value is degenerated. I make an effort to make them more specific at least half of the time. If the right compliment can make someone's day or more, then why not?

A few other real life compliments make me smile whenever I remember them. We lived Kolkata in the early 2000s and I was seeing an elderly lady Sharmila mashi, who was an acquaintance, after a while and asked her if she remembered me. She responded in Bengali saying,  'Ei chehera ta ek baar dekhle ki bhoola jai? ( Can one forget this face, after seeing it once? ). On another occasion,  seeing me fretting over something,  a coworker had said, 'Whenever you feel sad, go and look at yourself in a mirror?' 😃

The most badass compliment I received was also from a coworker, early in my career. Even in the most developed country in the world  America, women are often not treated fairly or equally in the workplace.  When I started working here, I was surprised to see that the otherwise very independent girls, would still not speak up in such circumstances. I on the other hand was known to be 'NICE' ,but if someone hurt my interests and stepped on my toes, it wouldn't take a second to raise my voice. I did it inadvertently and one of girls I worked with who was observing said one day, ' You can morph from a butterfly to a superbitch in seconds' . It still makes me feel powerful, although my personality and attitude towards resolving such things has transformed to some extent, over the years. 

I have this and other posts written in my head for a while. I am just transcribing it to digital now. Hope you like it and please share your experiences with compliments.🙏🙏🙏

My Experiments With Truth - Part 1

I have tried giving up different things at different times in a sense of renunciation and practing self-control. This year I gave up one of my favorite hobbies, SHOPPING!!

In full disclaimer, I did buy a few Indian clothes, primarily during my trip to India, but other than that I didn't buy anything else except few very essential items,  not just for myself but also for my daughter Mahika.  

Before this run of giving up, my fingers were on constant click-to-buy mode any hour of day or night, since I primarily shop online. It's been seven months into the year and I have managed to get past the thrill of it and the retail therapy it provided, only until the un-boxing. After that, the items I purchased were only something I already possessed and stashed somewhere in my closet, or worse still in my basement. 

This year, I've been tapping on my basement 😊. So far I've had great finds purchased in yesteryears, that I've been adorning to parties and events this spring-summer!

I may have to buy a few things for Mahika, due to heavy wear and growing out of clothes, but I intend to continue my shopping hiatus for some more time.  The best part of it is the realization that my happiness is free from dependence on retail consumerism. Here's a dress from my basement collection. Doesn't it look pretty good? 😊

Beloved Taffy!!

When the time is right, things happen!! It was in our destiny to have a new kitten walk into our lives at this juncture and here he is. Welcoming Taffy Borkakoty, out new orange tabby kitten into our home and hearts!! 

Milo, the golden retriever,  is smitten, almost love-sick. All he wants is the kitten. Mitch, our 15 year old tabby cat, was nonchalant for all but two days and has been playing constantly since then. 

Mahika is being the guardian and we are all elated by Taffy's delightful presence. Aita ( grandma)is making DIY toys for him 😊 and daddy finally got someone in the household named after him. Taffy is a broken down version of the name David, meaning 'beloved' and is of Welsh origin. Welcome Beloved Taffy!!❤️

Happy International Women's Day!!

Happy International Women's Day to everyone!!  While we continue to #EmbraceEquity and promote inclusiveness,  let us also work on strengthening ourselves by enriching our minds with knowledge, with which comes empowerment and supporting and lifting our fellow women versus breaking and hurting one another, in all aspects of our life. 

Introspection can change the world!!

We were fortunate to visit NASA recently and learned a lot about our Aeronautics and Space Program. Here's a fun fact -

As of March 2023, 72 women have flown in space. Of these, 44 have worked on the International Space Station as long-duration expedition crewmembers, as visitors on space shuttle assembly flights, or as space flight participants on short-duration missions.

#internationwomensday #iwd2023 #nasa #stem

The Jackfruit Tree - Sharing is Caring!!

Nature gives abundantly and its gifts flow to everyone irrespective of status, race, religion even species. Such is the case of a jackfruit tree that stands loftily in the compound adjacent to where my mother lives.

In spring, the tree blossoms and in a few months by July, its fruits are ripe and ready to be devoured. Whoever has eaten jackfruit know that it offers a raw deal. Above the mushy fruits is a thick shell that is rough and sticky and hard to break. Nature has its own devices too, in terms of inherent intelligence of beings as well as the tools they have to conquer what they need to survive.

The monkeys here are behind the ravens in evolutionary sense. They jump around the tree trying to get to relish the fruit but to no avail. Meanwhile, the crows come and pierce them and take the first offering. The monkeys follow by eating from the holes pierced by the crows. Some of them fall on the ground when overripe and the monkeys keep waiting for it and come and gobble them. The story doesn’t end here.

One sunny afternoon, my mother was watching the theatrical performance of the crows and the monkeys from her window, when the air was permeated by the shrill call of a vendor who goes from home to home sharpening knives.  He was treading the path under the tree and was in clear view of my mother. However, he was himself completely unaware of her presence.

He had probably not got a chance to eat lunch that day for whatever reason. Maybe he was too busy with business or maybe he was trying to break the buck to buy something to eat. Whatever the case, his eyes fell on the jackfruits that were on the ground. He looked around to see if anybody was watching. On feeling comfortable that he was the lonesome human there with just the crows and monkeys around, he quickly picked up pieces of the fruits and gulped them.

After fulfilling his appetite thus, he rang out his usual shrill call to sharpen knives and carried on with his pursuit of business.

The Weaves of Time!!

When I was a little child, my mother had a few nice mekhela sadors that she would alternate wearing to weddings. One was a shade of purple and another was the most beautiful resplendent peacock blue, she had got during my eldest Mama's wedding. Sometimes I would wear them while playing with dolls, pretending to be grown-up. Later, she added few more to her collection, purchased from one of her friends Medhi aunty, who used to bring them from Sualkuchi and cater to everyone in Shillong. I believe it was common for middle class India at that time to not have too much of anything and still be very happy.

I didn't have too many myself, when I moved to the US, apart from the few from my wedding. I never felt the need to get more, since I didn't wear them much. But once we got here, we got sucked into a social whirlpool and it spun out a rainbow of shades of mekhela sadors, adorned by the beautiful ladies, I now call friends. Since then my closet has grown by a few mekhela sadors, every year. 

The two things that inspire me the most about the attire, is that the beautiful Assamese ladies embrace and adorn it full throttle. Whenever I visit Guwahati, I am thoroughly impressed by women just going about their daily business, fluttering beautiful weaves. There is no giving up on mekhela sador for any other attire!!! The second and even more important one is that the weavers and designers keep coming up with innovations in color, design, fabric and style, always keeping it interesting.

Here are two recent trends. In the first picture, I am wearing a pastel lavender mekhela sador with rose gold copper guna, in contrast to yellow gold guna used traditionally and in the second picture I am wearing a pistachio mekhela sador in tone-on-tone metallic guna and oh how I love them!!!❤️

Anupamaa

My blog has suffered much worse from the lack of content during the pandemic, than mainstream media. So I have decided to revive it by posting more frequently. 

In the height of the dearth of content, one by one we got hooked to an Indian soap named Anupamaa on Hotstar, starting with me. Anupamaa,the protagonist in the series, is a housewife taking care of the entire family, while neglecting herself. Despite her efforts, she is mistreated by almost everyone she takes care of, from her mother-in-law to her husband and even her own kids.

The story is about her battle and struggle to find herself and her happiness. The first of these being starting a dance school, a passion she had long given up. 

New episodes were loaded at 9pm ET and we kept checking for it and religiously watched it all together as family for one and a half years, when there was nothing of much else to do, until this summer, when we canceled the Hulu-Hotstar subscription. The series was also going a little too far in the story line like all long-running soaps. But while we watch it pushed forth several female centric areas, such as remarriage of older divorced women in India. Rupali Ganguly of Sarabhai vs Sarabhai fame, played a great role enacting the protagonist. Here is my enactment of her most famous dialog in the series. :-)