Moments - Lamhe

Bollywood superstar Sridevi left this world last Saturday. She was only 54 and recognized as the only female superstar in the industry, acting in several blockbusters which she could carry on her own shoulders without the support of a male lead.It had millions of fans across the Indian sub-continent and the world distraught, because of the sudden and untimely nature of it.

Her death, which was initially ruled as a cardiac arrest, got even sadder with the revealing of further details, which cited accidental drowning in her bath tub as the cause. I have never been a crazy fan of any celebrity, however, a few have left their mark by their performances being a part of my life.

Sridevi's performance influenced many such moments in my life. My mother who belongs to a generation when Bollywoood wasn't as strong an influence and there were no TVs in every home, was stupefied by her performance in Sadma. She was so touched that she often talked to me about the movie, her dog in it - Hari Prasad and how Sri threw a morsel to the male lead Kamal Hasan at the end, not recognizing him and thinking he is a beggar. While he was the one who had rescued her and helped her reverse the retrograde amnesia, that she was suffering from. The movie is a connective basis for me and my mom, through which we understand and empathize with each other by experiencing the actors' performances and the sadness and hurt in it.

Her movie Chandni, was a topic of discussion among friends at school because of the romance and her style and beauty, which was something we twelve-year olds were trying to emulate in some manner, with eyes full of dreams. We also made fun of the Bollywood dance moves :-). At that time, we already considered ourselves grown up enough, although we were still kids and if nothing else, Bollywood had certainly already ignited our quest for the one true and undying love of our lives.

The one movie that made my memories of her most touching was Lamhe. I had watched it with my friend Anindita. She had arranged for a VCR and cassette for the movie ( it was probably when I was in tenth grade - 1993) . The movie based in Rajasthan, was haunting and her performance memorable.Later in college, I had danced to one of the songs from the movie (Morni) in a dance drama, while making a futile attempt to open my eyes as big as her angelic ones.

All of these memories formed a part of my childhood and early teens. With her sudden and cruel death, that part of my childhood seems to be dented. The fond memories can no longer be remembered without a heartache. It's surprising that someone or something can change the effect of past events that far back. I guess it doesn't happen often.

It seems today, the day of her cremation, eerily coincides with the date of her last big release before taking a hiatus from acting, Judaai meaning Separation.

I had been trying to translate a few lines from an old Hindi song Mann Re Tu Kaahe Na Dheer Dhare ( O' Mind, why can't you be patient?) the last week in my mind, not realizing I would be using it in such a post as this, in this manner.

Itna hi upkar samajh koi
Jitna saath nibha de,
Janam maran ka mel hai sapna
Yeh sapna bisra de,
Koi na sang mare

Accept it as a favor,
The time that someone spends with you,
Union in life and death is a dream
Dispel that dream,
Since no one dies together!

Rest in Peace, Beautiful!

The Joy of Giving!

The real joy of gifting is in giving rather than receiving. Christmas of 2017 brought a wonderful opportunity to give the gift of time and volunteer service to an organization that brings a lot of smiles to little kids and adults alike, by providing them low cost and free gifts for Christmas.

As part of a team  for a volunteering event organized by my workplace Bank Of America, I arrived at the selected local charity. As I entered through the front entrance, I saw a room full of men sitting on every side. Wearing a ragged appearance, they exuded a homeless mien. I couldn't see any of my peers there.For a split second, I was stupefied and wondered if had arrived at the right place. As my confused eyes wandered, they fell on the man sitting directly opposite to me. He gave me a warm smile and by gesture of hand showed me a door that led to a register. When I looked around I saw several of them were smiling at me. Perhaps they sensed my confusion. I felt slightly embarrassed that I somewhat froze when I saw them first, but managed to smile back and headed inside.

Several of my peers were already there. An elderly lady involved with the charity gave us directions for what needed to be done. After some initial confusion, we fell into a rhythm. Three hours later we had set up tables, spread table cloths, organized gifts by sections much like a store - a Christmas store.

It touched my heart to see toys that my little girl would love. My maternal instinct was to pick them up for her, particularly the Paw Patrol ones.These were toys that people of the same means as myself probably wouldn't give a second thought to before purchasing, but the fact that there were kids who could barely afford only that one toy for Christmas and perhaps the entire year was humbling.

I could imagine little feet walking in on Christmas Eve and their little eyes settling on something that would bring immense happiness despite all the hardship their little lives had already seen. I could see all of those toys and books disappearing into very worthy hands. The charity sold them at a heavily discounted rate prior to Christmas and gave free toys to kids who visited on Christmas Day.

Among the toys, we also arranged a table with a stack of book bundles. This one I was particularly proud of as myself and two others spent an hour in the chilling cold of an unheated warehouse, while it was 26 deg. Fahrenheit outside ( -3 deg. Celsius), sorting and bundling the books from a humongous box.

I learned while working there that the men I had seen were actually homeless and living in a hostel that the charity was managing. The other side of the building had a similar hostel for women and kids who were looking for shelter from the bitter cold.Some of the men moved around inside while we worked, again giving us wide smiles.

I left that day  -  a little more humble, a little more enriched - my gift in turn.