Dec 28, 2018

The Young Man And The Mama Crab !!

Mahika and I were spending our last evening in Montego Bay on the pier, taking in the breeze, singing together and watching a little baby crab, sitting on a tiny water puddle, on the rock below. As we looked at it, it kept batting its eyelids open and shut. “What a cute existence”, I thought.

The two other people on the pier had left and we sang to ourselves in joyful abandon,our voices cresting and falling through the roar of the tidal waves. In that environment, I was semiconscious of  a young man who had stepped on the pier and was prostrated, trying to catch something from the waters below. 


At one point Mahika asked, first to me and then to the man himself, about what he was doing. To which he replied that, he was trying to catch some crabs.He had a short length of line with some bait at the end and a small plastic bucket with a lid, to store the crabs in.

He said that they kept taking his bait, but fell back into the waters, as he tried to get them on the pier. Mahika in her innocence, was prompt to tell him that, there was a crab sitting on the rock. The one that we were watching, a little while ago and he rushed to the spot and exclaimed “Oh, that’s a baby” .

However, by then a bigger crab had also climbed on the rock and he said “ Let me get the Mama” . I was mortified that we would be the cause of its death , yet I couldn’t interfere with the young man’s business. The man was successful in getting the crab on to the pier and was trying to get him closer to his bucket.

My insides were thumping, both with a prayer for and a plea to the crab to run for its life, to not get trapped, not then, to not die. It was only a matter of seconds, but felt much longer. The crab went down the side of the pier and the man held his bucket underneath and my heart sank.

When he raised the bucket, he sighed, “It escaped! I had got it up here on the pier you know” . I said “Yeah, I saw” like I was sorry for his miss while my insides were rejoicing. 

As Mahika and I walked back from the pier soon after, I told her how glad I was that the crab escaped followed by answering several of her “Why’s “ while she tried to understand the ways of the world and life and death. 


The next morning before leaving for the airport, I visited the pier again and saw the crabs darting on the rocks, looking for food and eating what was probably tiny fragments of sea weeds. So I picked a generous helping from the beach where they were plenty and strew them across the rocks. Soon enough a couple of them made way to the weeds and tore them with their claws and ate them. What a bright and sunny day it was!!

Dec 6, 2018

The Old Man (Autumn) & The Sea!!

On the beaches of Montego Bay in Jamaica, I have forgotten that it’s December. While I read Hemingway’s A Moveable Feast, which is about his early days in Paris, following World War I, the balmy tropical weather, the pitter patter of the waves and the aqua sea, take the mind to a sleepy lull, where nothing else exists,but calmness.



The autumn that I so loved, just a few days back, exists only in traces, in the pumpkin flavored delicacies, that my Caribbean hosts are trying to infuse into their spread, to entertain their American guests. In sharp contrast to their endeavors, I believe nobody visiting from that part, wants to be reminded, that they have to return to winter and harsh weather. Everything else is tropical, from mangoes to star fruit to custard apples to jerk everything.





Why does my heart, that beats with every leaf of autumn, coloring up with them,swirling through the winds with them, not miss it? I wonder?

To people who know me professionally, I am a numbers and percentages, facts and figures kind of girl. But lo behold, my home is filled with books,  that are filled with dry leaves, from every autumn, since I stepped into the beautiful continent. Pull one out and you will have an entire fall of your own. Spring and Summer are great, but it is Autumn that steals your heart. Everyone’s heart, unless one is heartless, I guess. Every fall, as the many colors throb through the veins of the leaves, my heart throbs into variegated colors with them. And it breaks with them, every time each one severes itself from its source of sustenance, the tree. How did the creator make something so beautiful?How could he break it? But only to revive again? I wonder! After all,I guess I miss them!!

Oct 12, 2018

Moments

Lamhe nikalte nahin, 
Sadiyaan beet jaati hai,
Aakhen tak ti rehti hai,
Nazaare badal jaate hai.

Moments stand still,
The years fly,
The eyes keep staring,
While the landscape bids goodbye.


#WordsUnwritten 

Aug 29, 2018

Trifecta!

The majestic sound of a large dog’s bark, resounding from far, always enchanted her. But things had changed, since she brought Raako home. The enchantment was replaced by frenetic attempts to stop him from barking, as the noise reverberated deafeningly across the household. That day too, it was not too different. As she rushed to see what was going on, she found that Raako was at the back door instead of the front, which surprised her since no one usually came from there. On looking outside, she saw another dog, with its lead hanging from its collar. It was climbing up the paint-stripped wooden steps, moving towards the glass door.

Her normal reaction, in such a circumstance, is to go out and get hold of the dog if possible and check to find any information available to contact the owner. This time though, while her feet moved forward, her mind paused and she picked up her phone instead. Animals enchanted her and she had not learned to fear them, since she was a child, unless of course they were wild. She had once even got stung when she tried to befriend a wasp, after several benign experiences with honey bees. In this case though, the dog appeared to be of a breed of the Rottweiler family and from a few experiences in the dog park, when Raako was a puppy, she had developed a slight hesitation in interacting with them, as freely as she did with other dogs.

As she picked the phone and attempted to message the members of the community she lived in, she had two more visitors dashing out of the sylvan woods, behind her house, arriving right at her stone patio. At that point, she went outside. It was a father-son duo who had trailed behind the dog, through the small patch of woods, before it got too far. They told her that their furry friend bounced into the woods after a hopping rabbit and they followed suit. They introduced her to Nova, who was of course a sweetheart and made her laugh at her initial hesitation. They said that they were glad that Raako was there since that led Nova to the door instead of running away elsewhere. The trio complete with the family dog, walked back through the grass, this time avoiding the woods, their legs scratched by the bushes.

Two days back.

As she woke up from slumber and was getting ready to leave for work, one thing preoccupied her mind. It was her dad’s birthday and she wanted to wish him. Before heading out, she went and wished him a 'Happy Birthday' and as usual he smiled back at her warmly, albeit from a picture. For his last four birthdays, since he was gone forever, that was how it had been.

It was certainly a special day for her, one that was celebrated for as long as she remembered, but otherwise, a very mundane Monday morning. She drove on the Interstate, her `mind oscillating endlessly between memories and her to-do list, while simultaneously her head grooved side-to-side to the beats of her favorite radio channel as her lips hummed the parts of  the lyrics she knew.

The morning drive to her workplace took her about forty minutes and the coffee in her mug was dwindling, when the city skyline appeared. Right then, while crossing an overpass over the river that flowed by the city, her wide eyes sighted something pristine. For a few moments, a large dragon-fly, glided over the bonnet of her car, moving in the same direction as her before flying away into invisibility. The winged gladiator shimmered in the sunshine, showing its magnificent green shine and golden translucence, for those few moments. It was divine and she felt like her dad had sent her a messenger to remind her of his continued presence in her life.

The day went by and she returned home, the shimmer still brightening her eyes, while she refrained from sharing the occurrence with anyone. It was too precious to share, she thought.

The following day, another messenger came. Only this time it was more mesmerizing. This year she had vowed to make her backyard as beautiful as the Swiss chalets and so she did. She hung pots of brightly colored geraniums in the stairs leading to the backyard and filled the entire yard with petunias and marigolds, amidst the perennials that came back every year. While she watered the geraniums, hung on the rails of the staircase ,with a sprinkler, the water droplets rose above her showering the leaves and blossoms. It was then that, very blithely, a hummingbird, as green, pretty and nimble as it could be, came and flew through the water taking a quick shower. She could only let the beauty of the moment absorb into her, like the drops of water were being absorbed into the flower pots, speechlessly.

She was getting used to beautiful messengers and was looking forward to the third day as she believed in a trifecta of beautiful events. However, that day turned out to be pretty humdrum. Other than the hullabaloo of the neighbor’s dog chasing the rabbit into her backyard, nothing striking had happened. By the evening, she had actually even forgotten that she was waiting for a third messenger.

The following night, as she retired to bed and was about to fall asleep, she remembered and wondered about how the third messenger never came. In a split second, her mind lit up. Her third messenger had come, only she never realized it. The not so divine looking, yet adorable mutt that climbed up her stairs right to her was her third messenger. She wondered how she could not recognize it right away, but it made the feeling of it all the more beautiful. A Nova – a bright star had visited her.


Feb 27, 2018

Moments - Lamhe

Bollywood superstar Sridevi left this world last Saturday. She was only 54 and recognized as the only female superstar in the industry, acting in several blockbusters which she could carry on her own shoulders without the support of a male lead.It had millions of fans across the Indian sub-continent and the world distraught, because of the sudden and untimely nature of it.

Her death, which was initially ruled as a cardiac arrest, got even sadder with the revealing of further details, which cited accidental drowning in her bath tub as the cause. I have never been a crazy fan of any celebrity, however, a few have left their mark by their performances being a part of my life.

Sridevi's performance influenced many such moments in my life. My mother who belongs to a generation when Bollywoood wasn't as strong an influence and there were no TVs in every home, was stupefied by her performance in Sadma. She was so touched that she often talked to me about the movie, her dog in it - Hari Prasad and how Sri threw a morsel to the male lead Kamal Hasan at the end, not recognizing him and thinking he is a beggar. While he was the one who had rescued her and helped her reverse the retrograde amnesia, that she was suffering from. The movie is a connective basis for me and my mom, through which we understand and empathize with each other by experiencing the actors' performances and the sadness and hurt in it.


Her movie Chandni, was a topic of discussion among friends at school because of the romance and her style and beauty, which was something we twelve-year olds were trying to emulate in some manner, with eyes full of dreams. We also made fun of the Bollywood dance moves :-). At that time, we already considered ourselves grown up enough, although we were still kids and if nothing else, Bollywood had certainly already ignited our quest for the one true and undying love of our lives.

The one movie that made my memories of her most touching was Lamhe. I had watched it with my friend Anindita. She had arranged for a VCR and cassette for the movie ( it was probably when I was in tenth grade - 1993) . The movie based in Rajasthan, was haunting and her performance memorable.Later in college, I had danced to one of the songs from the movie (Morni) in a dance drama, while making a futile attempt to open my eyes as big as her angelic ones.

All of these memories formed a part of my childhood and early teens. With her sudden and cruel death, that part of my childhood seems to be dented. The fond memories can no longer be remembered without a heartache. It's surprising that someone or something can change the effect of past events that far back. I guess it doesn't happen often.

It seems today, the day of her cremation, eerily coincides with the date of her last big release before taking a hiatus from acting, Judaai meaning Separation.

I had been trying to translate a few lines from an old Hindi song Mann Re Tu Kaahe Na Dheer Dhare ( O' Mind, why can't you be patient?) the last week in my mind, not realizing I would be using it in such a post as this, in this manner.

Itna hi upkar samajh koi
Jitna saath nibha de,
Janam maran ka mel hai sapna
Yeh sapna bisra de,
Koi na sang mare

Accept it as a favor,
The time that someone spends with you,
Union in life and death is a dream
Dispel that dream,
Since no one dies together!

Rest in Peace, Beautiful!

Feb 18, 2018

The Joy of Giving!

The real joy of gifting is in giving rather than receiving. Christmas of 2017 brought a wonderful opportunity to give the gift of time and volunteer service to an organization that brings a lot of smiles to little kids and adults alike, by providing them low cost and free gifts for Christmas.

As part of a team  for a volunteering event organized by my workplace Bank Of America, I arrived at the selected local charity. As I entered through the front entrance, I saw a room full of men sitting on every side. Wearing a ragged appearance, they exuded a homeless mien. I couldn't see any of my peers there.For a split second, I was stupefied and wondered if had arrived at the right place. As my confused eyes wandered, they fell on the man sitting directly opposite to me. He gave me a warm smile and by gesture of hand showed me a door that led to a register. When I looked around I saw several of them were smiling at me. Perhaps they sensed my confusion. I felt slightly embarrassed that I somewhat froze when I saw them first, but managed to smile back and headed inside.




Several of my peers were already there. An elderly lady involved with the charity gave us directions for what needed to be done. After some initial confusion, we fell into a rhythm. Three hours later we had set up tables, spread table cloths, organized gifts by sections much like a store - a Christmas store.

It touched my heart to see toys that my little girl would love. My maternal instinct was to pick them up for her, particularly the Paw Patrol ones.These were toys that people of the same means as myself probably wouldn't give a second thought to before purchasing, but the fact that there were kids who could barely afford only that one toy for Christmas and perhaps the entire year was humbling.

I could imagine little feet walking in on Christmas Eve and their little eyes settling on something that would bring immense happiness despite all the hardship their little lives had already seen. I could see all of those toys and books disappearing into very worthy hands. The charity sold them at a heavily discounted rate prior to Christmas and gave free toys to kids who visited on Christmas Day.





Among the toys, we also arranged a table with a stack of book bundles. This one I was particularly proud of as myself and two others spent an hour in the chilling cold of an unheated warehouse, while it was 26 deg. Fahrenheit outside ( -3 deg. Celsius), sorting and bundling the books from a humongous box.

I learned while working there that the men I had seen were actually homeless and living in a hostel that the charity was managing. The other side of the building had a similar hostel for women and kids who were looking for shelter from the bitter cold.Some of the men moved around inside while we worked, again giving us wide smiles.

I left that day  -  a little more humble, a little more enriched - my gift in turn.

Jan 1, 2018

Happy New Year 2018!

What's new about a New Year anyway? It's the same days and same nights, just a man-made chronological measure of time. On several New Years' eve, this is how I felt like  about the celebration, which seemed to be blown out of proportion including resolutions we would forget in three months.

A new thought dawned on me this time though. Amidst the gargantuan celebrations and revelry of mankind, it's actually Mother Nature positioning us in the same galactic place in which we were in the previous year and giving us a chance to let go of things, move on and start over. Probably, it was a casual remark made by a friend about how 2017 wasn't good for her and her family in terms of health and wellness and how she was looking forward to 2018, that made me think that way.



Mundane in it's profundity, the simple thought caused me to realize how we compartmentalize our life and it's events by time and a year is the best way to relate to it. It's a big chunk of time within which we club our feelings and experiences together and move forward towards another, forever seeking a better tomorrow and another chance to live all the seasons. The Sun, Moon and Stars do give us a chance to relive time in a better way, every year.  Here's wishing you a Happy New Year!


To Share or Not to Share?: The Social Media Jinx

I had a rebellious adolescence and youth in terms of fighting societal norms. It wasn't like I was staging protests, like th...