My Smartphone Myopia - and correcting it!

When I was in ninth grade, I had a tiny rash on the corner of my left eye that lasted a few days. My mother got worried and took me to see a renowned eye doctor in the town. Being the youngest child and only girl in the family, I had more doctor visits than everyone else in the family combined. I think my mother was fiercely protective of me because she had lost a child who was immediately above me in infancy. Since I came next, she showered all her concern on me. The result of the eye doctor visit, other than getting rid of the minor condition, was to walk back with a pair of sleek black framed glasses that were just hitting the trend then and have remained since.

On examining my eyes for vision, the doctor found that I had a small degree of myopia, which is common at that age, because of course work and studies. It resulted in a new awakening in my life though. The altar at our home had images and idols of several Hindu gods and goddesses. Among them was a shiny picture of Jagannath in a foil print in golden. When I was little I could see that the picture has small red and green dots on it in the background. As time passed, unbeknown to me, they had faded into oblivion because of my nearsightedness. The day I returned from the doctor’s office with my glasses, they reappeared. The world seemed to me like it had returned to its old normal – like I was missing so much while not even realizing things were gone.

A few weeks back I had the same feeling. My mind went back to the same day I got my glasses the first time. Déjà vu! I had realized I was using my ‘smart’  phone a lot more than I wished I did. I felt like while it kept getting smarter by answering all my questions and catering to a lot of requests, it was making me un-smart on many levels. It was making me lose my connection with myself. So I took action.

I figured out that on the Settings menu if you look at the Battery tab it shows your usage of each app in the last 24 hours as well as last 7 days. I looked. I was appalled. To say the least.

It seemed like I could conquer the world hiking, writing, learning a new language or helping others during the time I was spending on my phone in a week. Topping the list was of course, WhatsApp and Facebook. I realized I was watching too many videos among other things – funny videos, inspirational videos, some sad ones – all great ones but they were eating into my time and life.

I resolved to cut down my phone screen time drastically and to further monitor I downloaded a free app that tracks your phone usage called Moments. It revealed yet another picture. Most of the time I spent on a day was broken into a one or two minute spell. Since I have very busy weekdays, I don’t really get to sit with my phone for all the time I was using it. But I kept fidgeting with my phone through the day while walking to the restroom, walking to the café, cooking dinner, etc. and the minutes sure did add up, and worse, the number of times I was picking up my phone was almost as high as the minutes because every time I browsed, I did only for a minute or two.

Action – I resolved to not use my phone for more than forty-five to sixty minutes in a day and monitor the number of times I was picking up my phone. Calls are not monitored for screen time usage, if the screen is blacked out during them – so I can still make the necessary calls without counting the time. Also sometimes I need to use the maps feature, which I don’t count towards my usage minutes. Everyone who knows me knows that I get confused between right and left, irrespective or which language the directions are explained in, it’s right then that the visuals in the apps come in very handy (pun intended).

Since then I have upgraded to a paid version of Moments (onetime payment of $3.50). It gives me a loud alarm and an angry smiley if I exceed my usage. The smileys keep getting angrier the longer I exceed my set time.

End result – The world seems like a different place or rather like the old world that I knew. I am far less distracted and restless and starting to see the beauty of the dots in the background again. Even at my worst I was probably a median user compared to all users, but still putting down my phone has helped me reclaim my own life from it and there’s no giving my life back to it again.

Goddess Reincarnate - Every woman with a resolve to win!

I was fortunate to have grown up in a part of India where discrimination against female offspring over male offspring is minimal. Though my parents are natives of Assam, where such discrimination is lower compared to other parts of India, I grew up in one of the only three matrilineal societies in the world in Shillong, Meghalaya. The cultural observances of the matrilineal society had in some ways found their way into the minds of my parents. My mother would sometimes refer to me as ‘Khadduh’which is the youngest daughter in a Khasi family and considered the strongest in terms of carrying the lineage and inheritances.

However, I was one of the lucky few in not just the country but the entire world where, as in common knowledge, women notonly receive disparate treatment, but are at the receiving end of a lot of torture and abuse. This is true not just in eastern countries but even in the west where women are supposed to be more liberated. Without much more ado, I will list out some of the necessary things, I can think of to ensure the status of women are elevated at a micro level, which will add brighter colors to the bigger picture.

First is education, and it may sound cliché to say that but my point is for each one to do what we can to help ourselves and others. In that context, we should each try to strengthen our own education and skills, with particular focus on areas that will lead to beneficial employment. The next step is to help, influence and mentor others, at every opportunity that presents itself. It could be influencing parents of little girls to create opportunity for them or guiding an adult to become independent. Use the resources you have to spread awareness and help transform others’ lives. In any endeavor I undertake, I consider it a success if it has a positive impact on at least one person’s life. We should never think that our minuscule efforts will not make any difference in the bigger picture of women’s issues, or any other issue for that matter. Every positive change is more than worth it.

Secondly, as measures of self-help and elevation, women should never take their financial independence for granted under any circumstance. The first and foremost thing is to work head, heart and soul and if required put up a fight to establish that. Money can’t buy everything, but it can buy a lot of things. Other than mundane essentials, it can buy healthcare when required which is a quintessential part of happiness. For every woman, it is essential to try to earn their own living and the day that happens, more than half of their problems will dissipate into nothingness. For those who have already established that and even for men who are keen to help, like spreading educational awareness this too in conjunction, should be a constant pursuit to touch other lives and help women get to the point of financial independence. In Gandhi’s words, we have to ‘Be the change that you wish to see in the world’ and then help others get there.

A large number of women sacrifice their entire lives managing their household and working full time at home and after all they are not paid anything for it at the end. If some unfortunate event befalls them, they can be left penniless and may have considerable difficulty in finding a job due to lack of experience.Adding to that is the stigma that many are labelled with that they have never earned a penny of their own, which is duly unfair. Such home-makers should make sure that they are keeping something aside for themselves, as personal savings out of their household income, for choosing to spend their time in caring for their families over other employment. Over time the pool will grow into a reasonable amount, which they can use during any contingency or spend at their will even if for family reasons, as their contribution for something good, in case there is no contingency requirement for it.

Some women may be in a situation where their household income or family fortune doesn’t require or warrant them to supplement it with their earnings and hence may not feel a requirement to work. But that shouldn’t allow them to believe that they don’t need to manage their personal finances themselves, and depend on spouses or others for its management, even if it has been acquired through inheritances. Once every woman comes out of that zone and is financially independent and managing their own finances, a lot of women’s problems at any stage of life will be obliterated.

Thirdly, women should identify and reduce distractions. They should stop focusing on issues that don’t really help elevate their status in the name of liberation, like dressing. As the adage goes, ‘In Rome, act like Romans’, now while one doesn’t have to don a toga while in Rome but they should at least be mindful of how to fit into the local picture, while staying in their comfort zone, without drawing unnecessary attention. Such things detract from the real issues like education and financial independence that will lead to empowerment, strength and alleviation of the suffering of women. Also, there is no point to oppose men in every single thing – whether it makes sense or not, again in the name of liberation. More and more men are stepping out the stereotypical roles their forefathers had and are contributing to their significant other, in a beneficial manner, in big and small ways. Men struggle as well – while in college, it was apparent how stressed the boys were to do something for themselves, so they could be settled with a home and family, etc. while girls didn’t have as much pressure. 

Lastly, and very importantly, women should grow the habit of being more resilient. Women are more easily impacted by things that happen in their lives and find it difficult to get over them or get out of certain states of mind. It creates a perpetual state of misery – there should be a resolution to de-clutter the mind and move forward in any eventuality – one step at a time.

These are my few cents that I wished to share on the occasion of Durga Puja. May the Goddess bless every woman with the circumstances and will to succeed.