My Smartphone Myopia - and correcting it!

When I was in ninth grade, I had a tiny rash on the corner of my left eye that lasted a few days. My mother got worried and took me to see a renowned eye doctor in the town. Being the youngest child and only girl in the family, I had more doctor visits than everyone else in the family combined. I think my mother was fiercely protective of me because she had lost a child who was immediately above me in infancy. Since I came next, she showered all her concern on me. The result of the eye doctor visit, other than getting rid of the minor condition, was to walk back with a pair of sleek black framed glasses that were just hitting the trend then and have remained since.

On examining my eyes for vision, the doctor found that I had a small degree of myopia, which is common at that age, because of course work and studies. It resulted in a new awakening in my life though. The altar at our home had images and idols of several Hindu gods and goddesses. Among them was a shiny picture of Jagannath in a foil print in golden. When I was little I could see that the picture has small red and green dots on it in the background. As time passed, unbeknown to me, they had faded into oblivion because of my nearsightedness. The day I returned from the doctor’s office with my glasses, they reappeared. The world seemed to me like it had returned to its old normal – like I was missing so much while not even realizing things were gone.

A few weeks back I had the same feeling. My mind went back to the same day I got my glasses the first time. Déjà vu! I had realized I was using my ‘smart’  phone a lot more than I wished I did. I felt like while it kept getting smarter by answering all my questions and catering to a lot of requests, it was making me un-smart on many levels. It was making me lose my connection with myself. So I took action.

I figured out that on the Settings menu if you look at the Battery tab it shows your usage of each app in the last 24 hours as well as last 7 days. I looked. I was appalled. To say the least.

It seemed like I could conquer the world hiking, writing, learning a new language or helping others during the time I was spending on my phone in a week. Topping the list was of course, WhatsApp and Facebook. I realized I was watching too many videos among other things – funny videos, inspirational videos, some sad ones – all great ones but they were eating into my time and life.

I resolved to cut down my phone screen time drastically and to further monitor I downloaded a free app that tracks your phone usage called Moments. It revealed yet another picture. Most of the time I spent on a day was broken into a one or two minute spell. Since I have very busy weekdays, I don’t really get to sit with my phone for all the time I was using it. But I kept fidgeting with my phone through the day while walking to the restroom, walking to the café, cooking dinner, etc. and the minutes sure did add up, and worse, the number of times I was picking up my phone was almost as high as the minutes because every time I browsed, I did only for a minute or two.

Action – I resolved to not use my phone for more than forty-five to sixty minutes in a day and monitor the number of times I was picking up my phone. Calls are not monitored for screen time usage, if the screen is blacked out during them – so I can still make the necessary calls without counting the time. Also sometimes I need to use the maps feature, which I don’t count towards my usage minutes. Everyone who knows me knows that I get confused between right and left, irrespective or which language the directions are explained in, it’s right then that the visuals in the apps come in very handy (pun intended).

Since then I have upgraded to a paid version of Moments (onetime payment of $3.50). It gives me a loud alarm and an angry smiley if I exceed my usage. The smileys keep getting angrier the longer I exceed my set time.

End result – The world seems like a different place or rather like the old world that I knew. I am far less distracted and restless and starting to see the beauty of the dots in the background again. Even at my worst I was probably a median user compared to all users, but still putting down my phone has helped me reclaim my own life from it and there’s no giving my life back to it again.

Goddess Reincarnate - Every woman with a resolve to win!

I was fortunate to have grown up in a part of India where discrimination against female offspring over male offspring is minimal. Though my parents are natives of Assam, where such discrimination is lower compared to other parts of India, I grew up in one of the only three matrilineal societies in the world in Shillong, Meghalaya. The cultural observances of the matrilineal society had in some ways found their way into the minds of my parents. My mother would sometimes refer to me as ‘Khadduh’which is the youngest daughter in a Khasi family and considered the strongest in terms of carrying the lineage and inheritances.

However, I was one of the lucky few in not just the country but the entire world where, as in common knowledge, women notonly receive disparate treatment, but are at the receiving end of a lot of torture and abuse. This is true not just in eastern countries but even in the west where women are supposed to be more liberated. Without much more ado, I will list out some of the necessary things, I can think of to ensure the status of women are elevated at a micro level, which will add brighter colors to the bigger picture.

First is education, and it may sound cliché to say that but my point is for each one to do what we can to help ourselves and others. In that context, we should each try to strengthen our own education and skills, with particular focus on areas that will lead to beneficial employment. The next step is to help, influence and mentor others, at every opportunity that presents itself. It could be influencing parents of little girls to create opportunity for them or guiding an adult to become independent. Use the resources you have to spread awareness and help transform others’ lives. In any endeavor I undertake, I consider it a success if it has a positive impact on at least one person’s life. We should never think that our minuscule efforts will not make any difference in the bigger picture of women’s issues, or any other issue for that matter. Every positive change is more than worth it.

Secondly, as measures of self-help and elevation, women should never take their financial independence for granted under any circumstance. The first and foremost thing is to work head, heart and soul and if required put up a fight to establish that. Money can’t buy everything, but it can buy a lot of things. Other than mundane essentials, it can buy healthcare when required which is a quintessential part of happiness. For every woman, it is essential to try to earn their own living and the day that happens, more than half of their problems will dissipate into nothingness. For those who have already established that and even for men who are keen to help, like spreading educational awareness this too in conjunction, should be a constant pursuit to touch other lives and help women get to the point of financial independence. In Gandhi’s words, we have to ‘Be the change that you wish to see in the world’ and then help others get there.

A large number of women sacrifice their entire lives managing their household and working full time at home and after all they are not paid anything for it at the end. If some unfortunate event befalls them, they can be left penniless and may have considerable difficulty in finding a job due to lack of experience.Adding to that is the stigma that many are labelled with that they have never earned a penny of their own, which is duly unfair. Such home-makers should make sure that they are keeping something aside for themselves, as personal savings out of their household income, for choosing to spend their time in caring for their families over other employment. Over time the pool will grow into a reasonable amount, which they can use during any contingency or spend at their will even if for family reasons, as their contribution for something good, in case there is no contingency requirement for it.

Some women may be in a situation where their household income or family fortune doesn’t require or warrant them to supplement it with their earnings and hence may not feel a requirement to work. But that shouldn’t allow them to believe that they don’t need to manage their personal finances themselves, and depend on spouses or others for its management, even if it has been acquired through inheritances. Once every woman comes out of that zone and is financially independent and managing their own finances, a lot of women’s problems at any stage of life will be obliterated.

Thirdly, women should identify and reduce distractions. They should stop focusing on issues that don’t really help elevate their status in the name of liberation, like dressing. As the adage goes, ‘In Rome, act like Romans’, now while one doesn’t have to don a toga while in Rome but they should at least be mindful of how to fit into the local picture, while staying in their comfort zone, without drawing unnecessary attention. Such things detract from the real issues like education and financial independence that will lead to empowerment, strength and alleviation of the suffering of women. Also, there is no point to oppose men in every single thing – whether it makes sense or not, again in the name of liberation. More and more men are stepping out the stereotypical roles their forefathers had and are contributing to their significant other, in a beneficial manner, in big and small ways. Men struggle as well – while in college, it was apparent how stressed the boys were to do something for themselves, so they could be settled with a home and family, etc. while girls didn’t have as much pressure. 

Lastly, and very importantly, women should grow the habit of being more resilient. Women are more easily impacted by things that happen in their lives and find it difficult to get over them or get out of certain states of mind. It creates a perpetual state of misery – there should be a resolution to de-clutter the mind and move forward in any eventuality – one step at a time.

These are my few cents that I wished to share on the occasion of Durga Puja. May the Goddess bless every woman with the circumstances and will to succeed.

A Gold Necklace in the City of Joy

2009 – Kennett Square, Pennsylvania.

It was my third trip to Longwood Gardens but the most memorable one. My parents and mother-in-law were visiting us and we had taken them on a trip to the gardens. The lovely gardens, the old DuPont house which has been converted to a museum and the ornate topiary had left them mesmerized.  However, the section that amazed them most was the conservatory which had the Amazonian lotus plants with giant rounded radiating leaves.

On the other side of the conservatory, large baskets of fuchsias with white sepals and magenta pink petals hung from the top. This part is my personal favorite. I had once volunteered in a charitable fashion show in this section. Time and again it is converted to look different, the open part where the ramp was set being filled with water, adding to the beauty of this immense green house. While touring this area, I saw Anindita, my friend from kindergarten. She lived in Hackensack, New Jersey with her husband and three year old daughter Riddhi. She too happened to be visiting Longwood Gardens with her other friends, that day.

2003 – Lake Gardens, Kolkata.

Kolkata, a city of teeming millions, bustled with activity all day long. There was practically every means of communication you could think of - buses, taxis, metro, tram, auto-rickshaws, cycle-rickshaws and even hand-drawn rickshaws that kept running through the day until very late hours not to mention the ferries carrying people across the Hooghly.

We used to live in a relatively posh part of the city called Lake Gardens in South Kolkata. One evening I went into a jewelry store to get a piece repaired and was watching the baubles and trinkets in the glass showcase, while the goldsmith examined the piece I had brought to get repaired. A lady was watching me and as I looked up, we exchanged smiles. She looked very familiar and asked me if I lived in the area. After a brief conversation, I found out that she was in the store to buy a wedding gift for a bride and asked for my help in selecting it. She had picked a necklace with small gold pendants strung on crystal beads among others, which she asked me to try on to check how it looked. After checking it thus, she was satisfied and said she would take it and we parted soon after. My piece of jewelry was returned as unrepairable. 

Fast forward a few days, after a long day at work, I boarded a bus to Shibpur on the other side of the Hooghly. My husband being out of town I was going to attend one of my best friend’s wedding alone. It was pretty far from where I lived but I mustered enough guts to go find the place because of her. She had provided directions to me so after getting off the bus, I hopped on a rickshaw and found the venue. It was already dark then.

As I entered the place, I met her mother and she hugged me saying “This girl has saved me by coming today, my daughter has always had so many friends and today on her wedding day, there was none until you came”. It is one of the most touching experiences I have had.

Anindita and I had gone to the same school for fourteen years, from kindergarten until high school. We both had the same nickname, Rimi and to a lot of people including ourselves we had a lot of similarity in appearance. It was coincidental that she got married in the same city where I was living at that time. Her handsome groom’s family happened to be from Kolkata and she had other relatives who lived there which resulted in the wedding to be held in the city. I felt fortunate to be sitting by her side in her bridal attire. She looked resplendent in her red Benarasi saree, and I think I looked okay and complimented her in my blue Assam silk saree. We sat there as guests kept pouring and greeted her with gifts. In Indian weddings there are so many guests, that even the bride and the groom don’t know half of them, and for me everyone was a stranger except for her family. However, when one lady arrived, we exchanged smiles instantaneously. I knew that I had met her before and her smile said the same. We both couldn’t place how we knew each other for a moment and then it hit us both together - ‘Oh you helped me select the necklace to gift’ - ‘Oh you were buying the necklace for my friend’. The lady I had met earlier at the jewelry store was the groom’s aunt and the bride for whom she had asked me to try the necklace on was for none other than my dear friend Anindita. I couldn’t have been happier. This was yet another and one of the nicest coincidences between us. What were the chances of something like this happening in a huge metropolis –almost none - or let’s say one.

Time passed and we remained in touch mostly through occasional emails. She had moved to London few months after her wedding and was blessed with a daughter in 2005. However, that was not the end of our coincidences. For a few months after her baby was born we were out of touch both being busy – she with her infant and I with my relocations.  In January 2006, we moved to Delaware in the east coast of United States. A few months later, I opened my inbox to an email from her writing about having relocated to New Jersey in the beginning of that year, about two hours away from where I lived. A lot of good times ensued. It was funny when someone would call out to one of us by our nickname and both of us would respond. They returned to India five years later but maybe we have more coincidences in store.

All Lives Matter

My blog has been dormant for the past two years. There have been several occasions including two major life events, my daughter’s birth and my dad’s death, that prompted me to revive it, even if with a short post. However, it didn’t happen. Today, I am shaken though by the selective killing of the two black men Alton Sterling and Philando Castile by police officers and am feeling an unstoppable urge to post.

Last year, I read the book, To Kill A Mockingbird  ( it was not a part of my school curriculum back in India) and was surprised by the shocking similarity of the conviction and killing of  a black man in the book, to what is happening today. It felt like I was reading a news report. Centuries have turned and things haven’t changed. Something needs to be done now. This shouldn’t be acceptable to anyone in the land of the free.

America is such a great country that has been more welcoming to immigrants than any other in the world. I can say it from first-hand experience of being an immigrant here and having travelled widely. Whenever, I am outside the country, even just across the border, I immediately miss the friendly smiles and the casual greetings -  the ‘Hi, How are you?’, the ‘Your dog is so cute, can I pat him?’, the ‘Aww, your baby is so pretty?’. I haven’t felt as safe either, in my own country as here. This friendliness and courtesy shouldn’t be allowed to be tarnished by miscreant cops.  Things need to change. Everyone needs to speak up and do what they can to stop this!!!

A beautiful day !

Today is Ma and Deuta's 45th wedding anniversary. I am looking at reviving my dormant blog on this beautiful day.

Metamorphose

Stings forgone,
Loathe outgrown,
Tireless tufts
-  A silken solitude

A statuesque silence
Pained to perfection,
Paragonian  pressures
- A sheathed solitaire

A feathery flight,
A surreal sight,
A chiffony caress,
A worshipped witness

Bubbles and Billions of Bucks!

I started my career working for an export house in India and hence had developed a keen interest in international trade early on. However, with my current career in banking after moving to the United States, the interest has increased manifold especially with the global impacts of the Great Recession creating a universal consciousness around creating a stable economic environment across countries.  I wanted to share two articles as regards the economic facets of global business.

The first talks about looking out for bubbles in the global business environment and the second lists out the trends of global inflation.A combined review of both is interesting to analyze because of the interrelationships between inflationary trends, interest rates and the financial markets and the delicate balances required to be maintained in order to prevent far-reaching adverse impacts.

http://www.bloomberg.com/quicktake/watching-bubbles/
http://online.wsj.com/articles/global-inflation-picks-up-in-april-1401875791

The first article lists out how the global rise in asset prices may be an output of the money pumped into the economy by the Central Banks of countries across the globe and discusses on whether this would be a bubble that would burst in a manner similar to the mortgage-backed securities burst of 2008, causing the Great Recession. It discusses on whether the Central Banks should consider increasing interest rates in order to reduce risky investments. The second article reports on how global inflation is picking up and how necessary it is in order to continue in the path of the global economic recovery. In this case, interest rates are not something that Central Banks would look to increase in order to encourage consumer spending. While I found both articles interesting and thought provoking, because of the intricate interdependence of economies across the world in terms of almost all aspects of business, the combination of both sets of information and how it might impact policy decisions of Central Banks around interest rates is even more interesting.

Further, the national economies have different types of economic systems such as market economy, mixed economy and command economy. The systems outline how decisions are made in each economic system. Hence, another thought-provoking as well as connected consideration is how the different economic systems adjust to these global trends and pressures to keep them going, despite their different mechanisms and ideologies.

I hope you enjoy reading this post and were able to enhance your knowledge of the current global economic and business environment a little further.